Today would have been my mother's 73rd birthday. She past away just under three years ago and today, I feel her loss more than I have since she past away. I knew this day was coming and this morning, I found some time to write about my mother, her life, her birthday, and her passing. I feel a loss as I begin my day and the day goes quickly and is filled with a lot of stuff, some of it is just there to keep me busy. As I get in my car to drive home, I really start to feel it. I feel the loss of my mother, it seems so strange, but it must be part of the grieving process that I am going through.
While driving home, I try to connect with my family and do not have any luck and then I am drawn to connect with a friend of mine. As I tell her what I am going through, she asks me, "What are you holding onto?" Strange question, but I look at the question and I then ask, "What am I hiding from?" and from that question, I get "It is your time." A strange thought, but one that resonates with me. As I feel into the loss that I have, I am sad that my daughter will not have the experience of growing up with my mother as one of her guides, but without my mother here, I need to step up and be a guide - not to fill the role my mother would have, but to fill the role I need to fill as a guide for my daughter and others.
So, I need to step forward and be more of me. Yes, I miss my mother and to honor her, I need to be me. Thanks mom for this gift. I wish you were here to share it.
I did not realize that you lost your mom at a young age (70). I know what you are going through with having Elizabeth knowing your mom. For what it’s worth she had an opportunity to spend time with her and may have memories of that will stay with her for quite some time. Many of us lost grandparents even before we were born. As for your relationship with your mother, like many sons and mothers it is a special bond and although she is physically gone from your life, she will forever remain in your heart. You will notice the qualities that make you who you are, are ones you see in your mom.
Anyway, my heart goes out to you and your family.
Thanks David for your kind words!
Nothing can substitute for a Mother’s love. Love is indestructible. She is watching over you, and is proud of the fine man you are. I miss Dad every day. We were so fortunate to have such wonderful, supportive, loving parents. Wishing you a Happy Father’s Day 🙂
Your mom was a wonderful person who brought joy and understanding to this world in many different ways. It is natural for you to miss her this I realize that you do know. At the same time where we are in life, it is now our time to have people like your mom live on in our lives. We are the ones to whom our children will listen to most and follow our examples one day. I remember my grandparents (from the country store) I really didn’t listen very well to them and probably at times thought that they were foolish old folks. I didn’t think that things that they shared were important. Now as an adult, I get more from my parents …I understand my grandparents more I get some of those life lessons that they wanted me to know. I am lucky to have my parents to communicate those lessons. You are now in those shoes… Your daughter will learn those wondrous lessons, facts, and bits of knowledge from you. You are so eloquent with your words, you will communicate those wonderful qualities that your mother had and they will shine through you. I don’t want to imagine the emptiness that surrounds you as you think of your mom but know that one day we will meet our loved ones again. Linda would be proud of you trying to teach her life lessons.She will work her ways through you. She brought you up to be so capable of sharing both your own and her ideals and ways of life. She will work her wonders through you!!!!!!!
Terri, Thank you so much for your kind words. It is our time to be what our parents have been us, for others. Sean