I have struggled with this question for years. There are areas where I have gotten what I have wanted, but I do not think that I have really ever fully embraced what I wanted. I was brought up to go to school, get a job, and you would have that job for a life time and then you would retire from that job and the pension you collected would take care of you and I had a strong role model for that, my father. Yes, I know that my father really did not like his job, he counted down the years to retirement and has been taken care of through his retirement from the company that he worked for so many years.

Growing up, I have set goals and achieved them, but I do not think that I have ever set a goal for what I wanted in my work space. Work hard and the company will take care of you has worked for me for so many years. Why would I change my approach?

Why? Because I know there is more that I can do and working hard at my job does not allow me to do the more that I think I am capable of. By working hard, my job will want me to just work harder and that may not be in alignment with what I really am capable of doing for the company, but it really comes down to what do I want? Yes, we are back to the question that started this whole trip.

If I do not allow myself to answer the question of what I want, then how can I get it?

Why have I not answered what I want? First, because I am afraid of the answer and I am afraid on several levels. I am afraid that it will be totally different from what I am doing today. I am afraid that it will be big. I am afraid that I am not worthy of getting what I want. I am afraid that I will have to give up what I have to get it. I am afraid I will loose everything.

Yes, I know. There are a lot of excuses there and I have not even started to look at what I want. So, I am going to take the first step and let myself wonder what I want and then I will come back to it and keep coming back to it until it feels like I really got to what I wanted in that area of my life. I am being gentile with myself and trying to let what I want come from that deep place of desire within me.

I have started the process of examining what I want and in some areas of my life, I am really feeling connected to what I want and in some areas I am struggling to really feel what I want, but I have something to start with and will work with that.

When I finish sitting with what I want, I have asked myself what can I do today to help get me to where I want to be. Yes, sometimes I get “nothing”, but I look for something simple to do that will help me get to where I want to go and I do it as soon as I can.

Of course, writing more often was one of the things that came to me as something that I could do to get me to where I want to be. Writing helps me understand and clarify my thoughts and sometimes the witting becomes more and something that I will share with you. I know the writing is always for me, but sometimes you will get something from it as well.

Please let me know if this has helped you. If you need some help with what you want, leave me a comment below and we can connect.