Grief is a funny thing, and I do not mean a ha ha funny. It is something that changes and keeps coming back. On the US Thanksgiving, I talked about being thankful and forgiveness on my podcast. On my morning walk with the dogs on Friday, I was thinking about the podcast; what I had said, should I have said that, could I have said it better, what did I forget to say, etc. The typical picking apart my own work when I stopped to remember Thanksgiving growing up. I thought about my family being together and then the image of my mother coming out of the kitchen with the turkey came into my thoughts and all I could do was cry.
As I was crying, I realized that my next podcast was going to be on the tenth anniversary of my mother’s passing. I knew at that moment that I needed to share my thoughts on grief and for the week leading up to the podcast, I sat with grief, looked at it, remembered what I had experienced with it, and let it be with me, preparing for what I might say on my podcast, Reflections on Grief.
I have to admit that I really did not meet Grief until my mother past away. I had lost other family members, like grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even a great grandmother, but I really did not know Grief. When my mother past away, I really got to know Grief. I remember crying a lot for my mother. I remember having a day where I just could not be happy. I remember several times writing and blogging about my mother when something moved me to do so. These days, most of the time, I remember the good things that my mother did and think about how I might be able to be a bit more like her.
When my father past away, just over 5 years later, I thought I knew Grief and was ready for it, but it was a totally different experience. I thought that I would cry and I gave myself time, but the tears did not come through. I had days of anger that I could not explain and when I talked to somebody, I realized that it was because there was something unsettled between my father and me. I occasionally look at the back of my hands and see my father.
What I have learned is that Grief is different for everybody and every situation. Grief for me has been something that will sneak up on me when I least expect it. It is not always sadness or happy memories, but it can also be strange emotions like anger, or just being mad at everything. It can show up in your reaction to a situation. It can show up you see something, like the back of my hands. The best advice that I have for you is to just be with those emotions. There is something in them that you need to know. If you cannot understand the emotions, talk to somebody. Find a friend, a coach, or a doctor, someone who will listen to you. For me, I will start with writing about what I am going through as this helps me get some clarity. If that does not help, I reach out to a friend.
If you would like to talk to me, go to the Connect with Sean page on my website and send me your information. I will listen to you and help you with what you are going through.